一句话瑜伽，第176期milena：我今天PTSD（创伤后应激障碍）发作了。已经过了好长一段时间，有些事情勾起了我两年前的回忆，Erza在这个地方攻击了我。IhadaPTSDepisodetoday.It'sbeenquite along time since something has triggered me back to the place Erza had put me two years ago.
Erza是一只狗，它在6个月前袭击了我们的另一只狗，而我独自一人在家里，在这个过程中也袭击了我。Erza was a dog we fostered who attacked one of our other dogs about 6 months in, while I was home alone and in the process attacked me as well.
像狗吠，或者狗撒欢，都会让我心跳加速，开始把我拉回到那个地方，但今天是全部的事情。certain things like even soft growling noises, or dogs playing too hard would get my heart racing and start pulling me to that place, but today it was the full thing.
我处于瘫痪状态，处于恐慌状态，感到极其的无助、愤怒和完全的害怕。I was left paralyzed, in panic mode, feeling totally helpless, angry, and completely afraid.
几个小时我只能坐在那里哭泣。对很多人而言PTSD有不同的表现形式。For a few hours all I could do was sit there and cry. PTSD manifests itself in different ways for many people.
即便生活有很多种情况会踩到我的地雷，但每次发作我都能从中得到些许进步的力量。and though there are different triggers in my life for every traumatic situation I've been through, I do feel like with every episode I gain the strength to get through it just a little bit more easily.
在我第二十一岁生日的前几周，我签署了自愿协议，在那里我接受了6次ECT（电疗），以便从我的记忆中抹去痛苦的记忆。A few weeks before my 21st birthday I voluntarily signed myself into a Psychiatric facility where I received 6 rounds of ECT (electroshock therapy) in order to wipe a previous traumatic event from my memory.
回想起来，我认为精神上我压制住了许多情绪，即便这种麻木是好的……但人始终是感情动物。In retrospect I think spiritually I repressed so many things that needed to be dealt with.and though it was easier to not feel emotion...emotion must be felt.